Last Updated: April 6, 2025
We care about your privacy—mainly because Gabe once accidentally CC’d his entire contact list a photo of a sandwich.
1. What We Collect
Your email, if you willingly give it to us
Any info you type into a form while laughing too hard to read carefully
Analytics data, like how long you stared at the “Own It” button
2. How We Use It
To send you updates about Gabe’s campaign (and possibly his chili cook-off schedule)
To respond to your kind/funny/weird messages
To improve the site experience (or at least not break it worse)
3. What We Don’t Do
Sell your data
Give it to Elon Musk
Store your info in a manila folder on Gabe’s porch (anymore)
4. Cookies
Yes, we use cookies. And yes, Gabe once tried to eat one. These small data files help the website work properly, but they’re not chocolate chip. Sorry.
5. Data Security
We try our best to protect your data using modern methods like encryption and turning the router off and back on.