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Gabe@GabeOwners.com

© 2025. All rights reserved. Gabe Owners—Owning it, awkwardly. 

DISCLAIMER: This website is 100% fictional and satirical. Gabe Owners is not a real politician (thank goodness). Any resemblance to actual persons, living or confused, is purely coincidental. Tightsqueeze, VA is a real place, but they had nothing to do with this. Please don’t try to vote for Gabe—he’s likely to accidentally declare war on Canada.