Last Updated: April 6, 2025
Welcome to the Gabe Owners 2030 campaign website (“Site”). By accessing this Site, you agree to the following terms. If you’re confused, don’t worry—so is Gabe most of the time.
1. Use of the Site
You may browse, giggle, and even screenshot content from this site. However, if you attempt to take anything seriously, that’s on you.
2. Campaign Promises
Any and all promises listed on this site (including but not limited to pothole forgiveness, free Wi-Fi for grandparents, and emotional support hotlines) are for entertainment purposes only. Gabe means well, but let’s be realistic—he’s still using a flip phone.
3. User Conduct
You agree not to:
Hack the site (Gabe barely figured out how to log in)
Spam us with hate (light teasing is okay)
Misrepresent yourself as a member of Gabe’s campaign team (unless you’re Waffles the dog, in which case, hi Waffles!)
4. Third-Party Links
We may link to other sites, but we’re not responsible for what’s over there. Proceed with the same caution you’d use when eating Gabe’s homemade chili.
5. Disclaimers
This entire campaign is fictional and satirical. Gabe Owners is not a real politician (yet), and no actual laws will be passed as a result of anything said here.
6. Contact
For questions, concerns, or casserole recipes:
Gabe@GabeOwners.com